27 Aug

The Miley Cyrus Lecture

Ok, After waking up, making a banana and strawberry smoothie I started my day by watching the Miley Cyrus Video. My first thought is she’s saying “I might still be associated with teddy bears and sweet little kiddie things but underneath them are sexy black men who I am now fucking night and day. Or will if I want to “Cause it’s my house and i do what i want.” I am also screwing whoever that guy in the black and white coat is…(Is that Robin Thicke. He looks like Alan Thicke, is that his son? I remember Alan Thicke as the least talented human being on earth. He once did a duet with James Brown which was the worst performance by a white Canadian in history) ) Oh yes, more of her message is Don’t I look hot in my underwear? (She does. She’s beautiful), but she showed no more skin ,in fact, less than a woman in a bikini) Also cant I dance well? That part of the message would be met with a resounding no. She’s awkward and I was worried she might fall off the runway. Those are the messages she is sending out. They are meant to disturb parents, cause rebellion and talk among the youth…so they will buy her songs and they have succeeded beyond her wildest desire. Here we are arguing away. Some of you are fearful for your children. Your kids must Love it. Mom and Dad are freaked out. KOOOOOL! But it’s all just pop jive. It’ll all be forgotten when the next pop superstar comes on. In a few years your kids will go to college, have a respectable boy friend and eventually get married and give you grandkids. They will remember this performance as “Haha…Mom and Dad went nuts!” Ok, a few of them wont. A few of them will become whores and drug addicts JUST BECAUSE OF MILEY! Gerrie Ferris Finger asks what will be the next step, obviously meaning will we have real S/M related screwing on stage? Like the old Live Sex Shows in Times Square? Are there no standards left? I have no idea, but it only works if people watch them and get excited and talk about them on FB. Just dont turn them on. I do think it’s funny though that our generation created the Sexual Revolution and here we are when it is now right there in front of us totally freaked out. Our heroes sang “Why Dont We Do It In The Road?” Now the next generation is acting out wild sex on TV and we’re like “No No, we didnt mean it to go this far!” Sex is a force of nature, and all pop music pulsates with it and has in a vulgar, obvious way since Elvis. That’s not going to stop unless you bring back CenSors to TV and the Movies. She wanted to shock and make herself both sexy and sort of repulsive. Didn’t you do stuff like that when you were a kid? I sure did. I once poured peroxide all over my head to become a blonde beach boy as did every other guy I knew. I thought I looked cool, but the added bonus was my parents hated it! And girls thought it was KOOL! Well, one did. I looked like a total idiot, but people talked about me which was better than before when I was almost totally unnoticed. Later, I grew my hair long, had a really dumb looking beard which scratched and which I hated. But Hey, it was supposed to mean…something…er ah sort of. Millions of us did this. We swore we would never cut it. I look back at those pictures now and say to myself. Honestly…You were a pretty good looking guy and you totally hid it under all that stupid hair. What an idiot you were!” I had sex with women in cars, in the street, in parking lots, airplanes and once or twice in hallways in New York. I was bad, terrible…and often dangerous to know, like Byron. (Or wanted to be) But I raised my kids, who turned out fine, and now I’m a grandfather. Sex is fun, remember? And when you’re young living in sexual extremis is sometimes wonderful. (But dont get into heroin) The last thing I will say here is this. I was teaching a course in Surrealism once at Hobart College and I looked up Andre Breton who did all this stuff, ran around Paris naked, acted like madman in his youth to “stretch people’s perceptions” etc etc. They asked him “Now that you’re older how do you feel about all the crazy stuff you did when you and the other surrealists were young?” His answer:”Gee, I look at it all now and it’s really embarrassing.”